Scallywags

Scallywags

There are many different types of scallywag.
Each type has its own fighting techniques, strengths and weaknesses.
To officially become a Scallywag, one needs to graduate from Scallywag Academy.
These are the types Dash encounters:
Story 1: Wrestle-Scallywags
Story 2: Mind-Reading Scallywags
Story 3: Forest-Scallywags
Story 4: Desert-Scallywags

Move #4,455 (Pyramid)

Classified as a Pre-Fight-Manoeuvre (PFM)
Also known as a One-Up-Two-Down.
Recorded use by all scallywags.
Although technically is just a Pre-Fight-Manoeuvre designed to scare opponents, it is actually highly effective in combat situations. The top scallywag is usually the strongest of the group, and uses his or her position for jumping forwards or back.

Move #6,694 (Tower)

Used by Wrestle-Scallywags only.
Very technical 3-man move.
Typically Scallywag 1 jumps up, wall-bounces, ceiling-bounces, then lands to form the base.
Scallywag 2 jumps up, ceiling-bounces, floor-bounces, then lands on top of Scallywag 2.
Scallywag 3 jumps up and does an arc-soar, to land on Scallywag 2, thus forming the “Tower”.
They then advance.
Used primarily to intimidate opponents.
Its actual combat effectiveness is thusfar unproven.

Mind-Reading Mode A

Mind-Reading Mode A (MMRA)
Speciality of Mind-Reading Scallywags only.
Highly dangerous.

If you encounter Red Ninjas going into MMRA, you have three choices:
[1] Run
[2] Shrink them
[3] Stand perfectly still and think about sniders. Mind-Reading Scallywags are terrified of sniders.

MMRA is not fully understood. It is believed that it combines telekinesis, photosynthesis, photokinesis and telesynthesis, but this has not been empirically verified.

The amazing thing about mind-reading is that…
…um
…er…
I forgot what I was going to say.
I can’t even read my own mind!

Mind-Reading Scallywags

How common: Moderately
Special power: Mindreading, mindbending
Weakness: Scared of mirrors
Typical group size: 3 or more
Operate alone? Hardly ever
Maximum Jump Distance: 8 feet
Cleverness: 7/10
Speed: 4/10
Agility: 4/10

Wrestle-Scallywags

How common: Very
Special power: None. Decent all-rounders.
Weakness: Poor eyesight
Typical group size: 3 or more
Operate alone? Hardly ever
Maximum Jump Distance: 16 feet
Cleverness: 5/10
Speed: 5/10
Agility: 9.5/10

Forest-Scallywags

How common: Moderate
Special power: Climbing, camouflage, wilderness survival
Weakness: Laugh very easily. Fear nothing*.
Typical group size: 5 or more
Operate alone? Yes
Maximum Jump Distance: 32 feet
Cleverness: 6/10
Speed: 7/10
Agility: 8/10

* Except angry librarians. Forest-Scallywags are absolutely and completely and utterly terrified of angry librarians.

Move #18,854 (Rolling Starfish)

This is a HIGHLY dangerous and very technical move.
Only known to be used by Forest-Scallywags.
Once rolling, it can mover very fast.

Move #10,266 (Weird-Face)

Deployed if you want to make your enemies laugh.

This highly complex yet very simple move involves pulling as many weird and funny faces as possible. The aim to get your enemies to laugh so as to be distracted or to compromise a technical move of their own.

Very effective against enemies who are unable to suppress their laughter, such as Forest Scallywags.
Mrs. Zhonst holds extra lessons for anyone interested.

Highly effective when used against Move #18,854 (Rolling Starfish).

Desert-Scallywags

How common: Moderate
Special power: Create sandstorms, desert survival
Weakness: Tend to scatter sand wherever they go
Typical group size: 7 or more
Operate alone? Never
Maximum Jump Distance: 6 feet
Cleverness: 7/10
Speed: 3/10
Agility: 5/10

Move 6,745 (Rocket Launch)

This is a highly dangerous 1-4-1-1 attack move. Often used by Desert-Scallywags. It involves building a tower with the strongest “foundation” scallywag at the bottom. 4 fighters then balance off him or her, to form the “base” of the rocket, then the two most agile of them atop of each other to form the “nose-cone”. The launch involves the top two flying off at high speed into the attack. The “base” 4 then attack and the foundation scallywag remains in place.

Move #84 (Tarantula)

This is a highly effective evasive manoeuvre, particularly useful against Desert-Scallywags as they are scared of spiders. The move involves a deep grimace, spider-like screaming combined with a rapid and continued flailing the arms. The louder the scream and faster the arms flail, the more effective this move is.

Move #26,941 (Sandstorm)

This is a very, very dangerous move that involves conjuring up a sandstorm. It is the favorite attack move of Desert-Scallywags since they always have a trail of sand following them. Once in formation, the scallywags raise their arms and begin a rapid repeat-chant which sounds like a mixture between a humming snail and a toad with stomach-cramps. As they do this they stretch out and sway their arms which lifts and twirls any sand in the area. It forms a mini tornado which catches anything in its path. The conjured sandstorm is impregnable and remains in place for at least 24 hours. The only known remedy is for it to be sucked up by a Full-Vacuum-Snozzle. Some hole-diggers come with inbuilt snoozes specifically for this purpose.

Ice-Scallywags

These are small, VERY dangerous scallywags.

How common: Rare
Special power: Can freeze anything just by standing near it
Weakness: Terrified of huggybears
Typical group size: 7
Operate alone? Never
Maximum Jump Distance: 12 feet
Cleverness: 8/10
Speed: 9/10
Agility: 9/10

Move #334 (Freezer-Door-Slam)

Highly technical move used specifically to close freezer doors.
Involves 4 steps:
[1] Launch
[2] Glide
[3] Kick
[4] Land
Left-footed and right-footed versions are taught in year-1 at Scallywag Academy.

Move #342 (Instant Ice-Block)

Terrifying and super-fast specialisation of Ice-Scallywags.
Victims instantly get frozen in a block of ice and cannot move.
They can however breathe.
The ice last exactly 30 minutes.
It’s not actually dangerous to the victim, but incredibly uncomfortable, inconvenient and embarrassing.

Move #8001 (Oscillating Nostril-Pump)

Highly-effective defensive move. Involves rapid moving up and down of the elbows to make the enemy believe they are being advanced upon by an oscillating nostril-pump. For some reason, most scallywags are absolutely terrified of nostril-pumps. There is no known explanation why.

Move #7,734 (Ox-Horn-Pincer)

Another specialisation of Ice-Scallywags.
Involves formation of a C-shaped advance, i.e. a head with two horns that surround the enemy. Very dangerous. I repeat, very dangerous.

Micro-Scallywags

How common: Rare
Special power: Incredibly strong. Good at hiding.
Weakness: Terrified of moustaches
Typical group size: 6 or more
Operate alone? Never
Maximum Jump Distance: 4 feet
Cleverness: 8/10
Speed: 8/10
Agility: 8/10

Move #4,592 (Scarab)

Standard attack move used by Micro-scallywags. Typical unit size: 6. Can be done with 4. Once seen performed by a unit of 200. Typical formation involves two layers: Three base scallywags (usually the bigger ones in the unit) and then three layer-1 fighters who drive the attack. “Rolling Scarab” formations have been documented. These tend to be aggressive advance moves as opposed to explicit attack moves. When it happens, the top three advance and then form a new base. The three that were initially on the base, then advance and form layer-1. This pattern repeats as the unit advances.

Move #16,444 (Pin Jump)

This is an advanced decoy move used in response to an attack. Effective deployment of it can buy you a few crucial seconds to plan your next move. Based on the civilian “pin-drop” into a swimming pool. The fighter puts hands at side, legs together, and then bounces up and down. Pulling a ridiculous face often helps.

Move #874 (Cocoon)

This is a highly technical move, performed, as far as we know, only by Micro-scallywags. These scallywags have small ducts on their wrists, through which they are able to eject Instant Wrap Compound – a kind of fast-drying, plastic-goopy-glue-spray. If used in a co-ordinated way, it can form a cocoon trap around a victim. The victim can breathe inside the cocoon, but it’s almost impossible to escape from without outside help. The beam from a MRX-34-Laser can cut through it quite quickly.

Move #144 (Arm-Flap-Vortex-Shield)

This is a Defence-Against-Projectile move. It looks simple but is actually highly technical. If the arm is flapped too fast or too slow, it has little impact. 10 beats per second is the optimal. Anything under 8 is too slow, and over 12 too fast. When deployed properly, the air compression around the arm creates an impermeable vortex, through which nothing can pass. So for example if a unit of Micro-scallywags hits you with a projectile attack of Instant Wrap Compound, Move 144 would be ideal.

Move #7,312 (Beached-Fish-Flop)

This is a classic distraction move and has no actual underlying combat merit apart from throwing the attacked off-guard. For effective deployment, make sure you look as much like a beached fish as possible. Do erratic flaps and audio commitment also helps. Grunting and gasping spasmodically are particularly effective. The distraction impact can be substantial and is likely to give you a crucial few seconds to plan your next move.

Move #664 (Tea-Sip)

Initially just believed to be a distraction move, 664 actually has deep underlying psychological-combat merit. If deployed effectively enough to make your quarry believe you are actually sipping tea, the psychological value is incalculable. They will be completely confused for a few seconds and this will give you time to go in for your next move. In some rare cases, instances of combatants using actual tea have been documented.

Move #88 (Oscillating Dung-Beetle)

This is a highly-technical and sophisticated move that is unusual in that it is most effective when paired with Move 6,001 (Annoyed Shopkeeper).

Order of battle as follows:

[1] Deploy Oscillating Dung-Beetle. This will confuse your opponent.
[2] Then immediately initiate 6,001 (Annoyed Shopkeeper) which will confuse them further.
[3] That gives you ample time to prepare for your final move, something like deploying a moustacherang or using your transformer.

Move #6,001 (Annoyed Shopkeeper)

Advanced technical moved usually preceded by Move 88 (Oscillating Dung-Beetle). It can be deployed on its own, but if not done with commitment might be embarrassing. When used in conjunction with the Oscillating Dung-Beetle, it is highly effective at gaining you time, even as much as 3 seconds. During combat, a 3 second window can mean the difference between win or loss. The classic move following Annoyed Shopkeeper is moustacherang deployment.