Teaches: Highly Irritating class
Major Accomplishment: World Marble Run Champion (2017)
Loves: Crocodiles, marble-runs, The Oscillating Stovepipes
Mr. Ghogghh was a volunteer for the World Crocodile Census in 2019. The marsh he was allocated to landed up having over three thousand crocodiles in it, and he successfully counted them all. He was awarded a Badge of Honor by the WCA (World Crocodile Authority), and he wears it all the time when he’s at home. He even pins it onto his pyjamas when he sleeps. He’s too scared to take it out of the house in case he loses it.
In his back yard he has a modest crocodile farm. At the last count there were four hundred crocs in it, but quite a few escaped over the weekend so it’s around three hundred and fifty now.
The living-room and bedroom of Mr. Ghogghh’s house has been converted into a massive marble-run, and he spends most evenings and weekends working on it.
Because there is no room for a bed in his bedroom, he sleeps on a mattress in the bathtub.
Mr Ghogghh loves music. One band in particular. They are called The Oscillating Stovepipes and their hit song, “Hot Vibrations” is the only song he listens to, all day long, every day. Most people find the song quite annoying, but not Mr. Ghogghh. He loves it. And so do his crocodiles.
When he was young
Little Gerald Ghogghh always loved marbles.
When he was eight he was marbles champion at his school.
By the time he was ten he’d won the regional championships.
But with an active mind he soon got bored with playing marbles and winning them, he wanted to take it a step further. So he started building mable runs. The first few worked really well but were modest affairs. He sold them to fund the construction of bigger ones.
But the time he was twelve the Ghogghh family’s entire back yard was one long marble run. His mom, Gertrude, was not happy as it ruined all her prized petunias. His dad, Georgiovanini-Ni, was also not happy, as it ruined his cactus display.
Macella Camberwell herself (of the famous Camberwell Circus) spotted the marble run and asked Gerald if he wanted to join her traveling show. Of course his parents didn’t want to hear anything of it, but that same night, Gerald climbed out of his bed and joined Marcella and her circus troupe as they headed north, and then west, and then north again and then east, and later a bit south.
Gerald honed his marble-run skills for the next five years, and saw the world. But his parents refused to speak to him as they were so upset; with the petunia and cacti incidents, with his departure, and with the fact that he’d left a mess in his room and a banana under his bed (which took them two years to discover – and it had rotted completely into the carpet).
When he was twenty one he won the World Marble-Run Championships. The prize money was $52 million. With part of it he bought a huge petunia plantation for his mom, a cactus farm for his dad, and paid for the bedroom carpet to be properly washed. They forgave him.
The question you might be asking yourself now is; “Gerald Ghogghh sounds pretty cool, so how is it that he got to teach Highly Irritating class?”.
Does one need to be highly irritating to teach Highly Irritating class?
And the answer is Yes!
Unfortunately, immediately after winning The World marble-Run Championships, Gerald started telling everyone about his amazing victory, and simply never stopped. It very quickly became unbelievably irritating.
He got kicked out of the circus because he was scaring the customers away.
Poor Gerald started having trouble making friends.
He then discovered crocodiles. They’re great listeners and could tolerate his irritating-ness because they have very thick skins. Gerald soon got into breeding them, and so that’s how he got to have them in his back yard.
Oh, and finally, a small piece of trivia: Mr Ghogghh was involved with field-testing of early models of the Annoyingometer™.