Darling (Mr.)

Teaches Math
Weirdly strict. Obsessed with his pinkfish, and every day, during recess, he takes them for a walk around the school yard and then usually reads them a story. He also loves to take them hiking, and to the beach.
Always wears a necktie and is believed to have over 4,000 of them in his collection.

Mr. Darling lives on the top floor of a very tall building (called Marquard Tower) which is exactly 3.3 miles from Swedhump Elementary. He walks to school every day, with his pinkfish, and always the identical routine.

The first mile is on the left hand side of the road, and on the way Mr. Darling says good morning to every tree. He has named each one and he remembers them all. They then stop for a coffee and croissant at Jean-Paul Patisserie, where Mr. Darling does his daily math quiz from the newspaper.

They then cross the road and walk the next half mile on the right hand side of the road, making sure to not step on any cracks in the sidewalk, or on shadows. If there is a long shadow that’s impossible to cross, Mr. Darling is allowed to do so by holding his breath.

They then cross back to the left hand side of the road and stop at his favourite store, Spider-Murphy’s, Purveyors of Gentlemanly Neckties and Breathmints. Every day Mr. Darling buys a new necktie for school, and puts it on in the mirror, usually to the nodding approval of both Mr. Spider and Mr. Murphy. He then purchases 13 mints, pops one into his mouth, one into the pinkfish bowl, pays, and then crosses back to the right hand side of the road for one mile.

They then cross back to the right side of the road for the final mile to Swedump Elementary. Mr. Darling makes sure, for good luck, to hold his breath as he passes under the school gates. The fish do the same. As far as we can tell.

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