Zhonst (Mrs.)

Teaches: Face-Pulling
Major Accomplishment: Won the World Face-Pulling Championship, which was held at the Uzbükkuu Zoo in 1972 (it’s true).
Loves: Moisturizing face-cream

Maureen Zhonst comes from a long line of famous face-pullers:

Zayne Zhonst: Dad
Zeke Zhonst: Grandfather
Zomphys Zhonst: Great grandfather
Zeus Zhonst: Great, great, great grandfather
Zabodiel Zhonst: Great, great, great, great grandfather
Zavion Zhonst: Great, great, great, great, great grandfather
Zeppelin Zhonst: Great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather
Zora-Warrohus Zhonst: Great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather

It’s important to note they were all amateurs, i.e. none of them entered the professional arena, and certainly none of them entered the World Face-Pulling Championships. Maureen was the first member of the family to turn professional.

In the run-up to the 1972 World Face-Pulling Championship, Mrs. Zhonst actually spent a month in Uzbükkuu acclimatizing to local conditions. Breathing the air, drinking the water, licking tree trunks, and just getting comfortable with the overall vibe at the zoo, which is where the competition was held. It’s this attention to detail that makes her a true professional, and of course, a World Champion.

Below is a brief description of her 1972 path to victory.

Quarter final:
Maureen Zhonst v. Jezebillious McMaster
MZ Move: Oscillating Grimshaw with Teeth-grind
JMM Move: Carbonated Carbunkle with Ear Vibrate
MZ progresses

Quarter final:
Maureen Zhonst v. Jonothon Webble-Truck-Poffniss
MZ Move: Inverted Mouth Stretch with Squint Stare
JWTP Move: Corrugated Wind-Tunnel Effect
MZ progresses

Quarter final:
Maureen Zhonst v. Gondollia Hessbester-Bobb
MZ Move: Cheek-Puff with Eye-Roll morph into Death Grimace with Tongue-Flap
GHB Move: Cheek-Puff with Eyes Closed Morph into Statue
MZ wins!

A minute-by-minute description of the competition can be found in seven large (EXTREMELY valuable) volumes housed in the secure section at The Sniffsonian (floor -97b, Aisle 34769, Shelf 804).

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