Steadyneck (Mr.)

Teaches: Potted-Plant Balancing
Major Accomplishment: Potted-Plant Balancing World Champion (1958)
Loves: Cacti

Mr. Steadyneck is VERY old, and very nice. It is believed that he could actually be over 200 years old. But he is reluctant to discuss it.

When he was young

Sylus Steadyneck grew up on a cactus farm.

From a young age he used to help his parents bring potted cacti up from the fields to the farm house for meditation circle.

Sylus’ dad, Shepherd Steadyneck, believed that getting cacti to meditate made them grow better.

So every evening, over 1,000 cacti were brought up into the farm house for an hour of meditation.

They were then taken out again at the end.

Young Sylus soon found that if he carried one in each arm, and balanced a couple on his head, the job could get done a lot quicker.

And that’s where he perfected his skills.

Stylus was not only an expert at balancing cacti. He became an expert at growing them, and speaking their language. In fact, the first known English/Cactus dictionary was created by him.

Stylus Steadyneck also is the founder of the ACSAP (the Annual Cactus Symposium And Parade). Cactus growers and translators from around the world come to participate in this highly prestigious six-week event.

The schedule is usually as follows:

Week 1: Breeding and growing seminars
Week 2: Translation workshops
Week 3: Cactus dance choreography
Week 4: Seminars on cactus juice fermentation techniques
Week 5: Art workshops (participants learn how to paint pictures of cacti)
Week 6: Preparation for the parade

On the last day, they all parade through town on cactus themed floats. It’s a fantastic event and we’d definitely recommend attending it if you can.

< Back to Almanac