Weapons

Stink-Balls

Stink-balls are thin skinned capsules that get filled with gross liquid known as stink-ball juice.
It is possible to brew your own.
Stink-ball Capsules (SBCs) can be purchased from your local Spyware & Rockets store.

Typical Stink-Ball ingredients include:

* Rotting hammaphore fruit
* Old fishtank water
* Rotting guacamole
* Doublodile saliva
* Grobsnot venom
* Sour walrus milk
* Fresh swed milk
* Pickled fungus
* Slug slime
* Liver

Brew for 1 month on a cast-iron pot over a fire made from the bark of a hammaphore tree.

Once brewed, let chill, and then fill the capsules. Be sure to seal capsules properly so they don’t leak in your backpack or holster.

Yo-Yo Stingers

Yo-yo stingers are electrically-charged yo-yos.

When fighting scallywags, they can be very effective, but they only sting for a few seconds. They are best used to give someone a fright. If you’re involved in deep-combat, with a full squad of scallywags for instance, it’s worth having multiple yo-yo stingers with you.

Yo-Yo stingers are manufactured by Rajak Industries.

The stinger is a “take-apart” yo-yo, which allows users to change the axle and ball-bearings, and to refill it with stinger powder. The latter is a combination of gunpowder, latent electric charge, salt, dried lemon skin and grobsnot venom. Rajak Industries sells reloadable stinger powder capsules in sets of 24. Dash always carries at least 4 sets of 24 in his backpack as backup.

The standard stinger release move is as follows:

[1] Do not attach string to finger
[2] Get the yo-yo into high-energy sleeping state on the end of the string
[3] Rapid elbow and wrist rotate-jerk towards the target
[4] The yo-yo automatically releases

Freeze-bombs

As the name suggests, these weapons freeze everything within 50 metres of the explosion.
The effect last exactly 15 minutes.

They can be really fun if you time them well.

A freeze-bomb explodes 2 seconds after its been thrown. So try time it just as someone is pouring a glass of water or about to jump into a pool. When the freeze effects wear off it can be really funny.

Freeze-bombs might look simple, but they are actually highly sophisticated devices. They don’t actually involve temperature in any way. Rather they generate F-waves, which are a kind of radio-electromagnetic-micro-vector-wave-multiplier. When activated, the F-waves interact with localized atmospheric conditions to produce what scientists call the Photo-Stop-Effect. Everything freezes as if it’s in a photograph. Otherwise described as an IPGE (Involuntary Pause-Game Effect).

The effect lasts exactly 15 minutes and is not at all dangerous in itself. Obviously it can result in a dangerous situation, so for example if you ware watching a woman juggle with fire-sticks, and then you throw a freeze-bomb, it’s not guaranteed to she’ll catch the fire-sticks once she unfreezes.

If the pins of two freeze bombs are pulled out simultaneously, the effect will last for 30 minutes (i.e. 2 x 15). The same goes for up to 12 freeze-bombs, i.e. the maximum freeze time due to simultaneous freeze-bomb activation is 180 minutes (i.e. 12 x 15), which is 3 hours (i.e. 180/60 = 3).

Krypto-web

World’s strongest rope and it’s made from the leaf-fibres of a hammaphore tree.
It’s so strong that not even a Saw-toothed Doublodile can chew through it.

The leaf fibres of a hammaphore tree have a unique atomic-viscosity-multiplier which, when boiled and mixed with pumpkin juice, creates incredibly strong sub-atomic micro-micro-micro-micro-micro fibres.

These micro-micro-micro-micro-micro fibres, when interwoven with regular string or rope, form kypto-web. Such is the potency of the sub-atomic micro-micro-micro-micro-micro fibres, that 10 miles of krypto-web can be made from a single hammaphore-leaf.

Krypto-web is manufactured exclusively by the Oshakati Industrial Corporation, a high security facility located near Misty Cliffs. There is one hammaphore tree on facility premises, and it is extremely well looked after. It is not known if any staff members have access to the Hammaphore System.

Slow-Motion-Ifyer

A slow-motion-ifyer allows you to slow down everything around you, but not you yourself. So for example, if you are taking an exam and you need more time, you can just slow the whole room down, and voilà, take as long as you want.

The Slow-Motion-Ifyer was developed by Mgadigadi Technologies, and invented by their CIO (Chief Inventions Offer), Dr Jezebel Terracotta-Glandsmitten himself.

The development process of the device is quite an interesting story.

Dr Terracotta-Glandsmitten and colleagues were making slow, but very solid progress on it in the winter of 2001. Now Dr Terracotta-Glandsmitten, while we must add, is brilliant, he is very sloppy with his math. While working on the sub-algorithm for the quadruple-beni-haha-valve valve (which as you know, being a valve valve, is critically important for the device), he got the sign wrong on the main input number. It should have been a minus but instead he input a plus. The result was when they tested the first device, instead of slowing everything down, the opposite happened and it sped everything up. Because of this, they all started working really fast. Dr Terracotta-Glandsmitten realised the error, but chose not fix it because it meant that they would all continue working with speed. As a result they actually developed the technology one year quicker than they otherwise would have. Once a new and correctly-functioning device was built, he slowed everyone down.

Very clever Dr Terracotta-Glandsmitten. Very clever indeed. We can see why you’ve won the Ihmfin-hizz-hizz Prize multiple times.

Zap-Flattener

Flattens things, temporarily.
For example, when a person is zapped by a Zap-Flattener, they go totally and completely flat for 60 seconds.

The Zap-flattener was invented by Mr. Rosebank when he was young. He needed a way to sneak out the house at night to get to his secret inventions tree-house, but the front door was always locked. Years later he licensed it to Rajak Industries.

During trial testing of their mass-market version, Rajak Industries ran into a problem with the timing algorithm. An employee, Horatio Nomrodd, got zapped during routine zap testing, but after 60 seconds remained flat. And no matter what they did, they couldn’t get him to unflatten. So they rushed him to the local hospital where he was put in a bed.

Later that night, there was a change of shift and the new nurse in charge thought Horatio Nomrodd’s bed was unoccupied (he was fast asleep under the blanket). A new patient was wheeled in, and how can we say this diplomatically? The new patient was not a thin man. He was very much not a thin man. He was placed in the bed and poor Horatio Nomrodd had to spend the night trapped under him.

Fortunately at sunrise the shift changed again, and the old nurse was back in charge. She rescued Horatio Nomrodd and had the clear thinking to call Mr. Rosebank. As inventor of the machine, he knew exactly how to un-flatten Horatio Nomrodd, and the story ended happily.

Horatio Nomrodd was given $100,000 by Rajak Industries for his trauma, and he was also given two weeks off work. He spent the two weeks writing a book about the ordeal, and it quickly became a bestseller. A movie deal soon followed, which is why of course, the story of Horatio Nomrodd is widely known.

Goop-Goop™

Nasty spray glue.
Doesn’t dry completely.
Great for capturing people – just spray them and then they are stuck in the blob. They can actually breathe from within the blob, so it’s not dangerous, just annoying.

Even though Goop-Goop™ is industrially manufactured, you can make it yourself at home.

These are the recipe proportions:
1 cup walrus milk
1 cup wombat juice
1 cup snolly juice
1 cup osteop milk
12 degg whites
2 cups gelatine
1 cup white flour
2 tablespoons vinegar
5 tablespoons maple syrup
3 drops of invizizz serum
1 gallon of water

Instructions:
Mix it all together in a red bucket at full moon.
Stir counter-clockwise 100 times.
Howl thrice at the moon as loudly as possible.
Stir clockwise 100 times.
Transfer it all into a white bucket.
Leave it in a cool, dark place for 72 hours.
Your Goog-Goop is now ready!

Dublifier

Replicates (or doubles) something if you zap it.
So for example, if you have just one slice of pizzup, but you want two, just zap it.

The dublifyer has a de-dublify button too. So for example, if you create a copy of yourself to attend a boring lesson for you, but then the lesson ends early, and you don’t want a second version of yourself running around, you can easily de-dublify it.

You can create multiple versions of someone or something by repeatedly pressing the dublify button. But be careful when doing this as it can result in unwanted circumstances.

Dublifiers and manufactured by Mgadigadi Technologies. This highly secretive company has a large underground testing facility believed to be somewhere in the foothills of The Foothills. They specialise in highly advanced transformation, transmogrification and transgroffication devices. They also make communication devices.

Moustacherang

A moustacherang is an boomerang made out of actual moustache hair. If deployed correctly, it can be a highly-effective combat tool. Particularly effective against Micro-scallywags as they are terrified of moustaches.

Dash usually has a quiver of moustacherangs in his backpack.

A man by the name of Bertram Crocker once tired manufacturing moustacherangs using synthetic moustache hair. They proved useless in combat and the experiment failed. He lost a lot of money.

The general rule is the older the moustache hair used, the better the moustacherang.

Using the moustache of someone who was themselves involved in combat can be helpful. So for example, if you are in a moustacherang emporium and you are deciding between two models:

[1] made from the moustache of retired cavalryman, or
[2] made from the moustache of a lawnmower inspector, which would you choose?

Obviously 1.

But older moustaches tend to be more powerful. So faced with this scenario below, you could have a problem:

You are in a moustacherang emporium and you are deciding between two models:

[1] made from the preserved moustache of cavalryman from 200 years ago, or
[2] made from the preserved moustache of a lawnmower inspector from 400 years ago.

A very difficult decision.
I would probably still go for 1.