Loma-99

Extraordinary noncycle on which Mr. Ibis won the Tour de South-Northern Swottolia (a legendary mountain-biking race). He built it in his bedroom. It’s currently in the museum at Swedhump Elementary.

The amazing thing about the Loma-99 is the derailleur. As you well know, derailleurs typically consist of a moveable chain-guide that is operated remotely by a cable attached to a shifter usually mounted on the handlebars. But on the Loma-99, the chain-guide is actually operated remotely by a zungen-schtonken. Can you believe it? Really. Go check for yourself if you don’t believe us.

As a noncycle, the Loma-99 has 9 wheels. When you pedal it on flat terrain, the pedal rotates wheel 1, which then rotates wheel 2, which then rotates wheel 4, which then rotates wheel 7, which then, IF YOU CAN BELIEVE IT, rotates wheel 9, which then rotates wheel 6, which then rotates wheel 3, which then rotates wheel 8, which then rotates wheel 5.

When you pedal it going uphill, the pedal rotates wheel 1, which then rotates wheel 2, which then, UNBELIEVABLY, rotates wheel 3, which then rotates wheel 7, which then rotates wheel 9, which then rotates wheel 4, which then rotates wheel 8, which then rotates wheel 5, which then rotates wheel 6.

When you pedal it going downhill, the pedal rotates wheel 1, which then rotates wheel 2, which then rotates wheel 9, which then rotates wheel 4, which then rotates wheel 3, which then rotates wheel 5, which then, and this is TOTALLY true, rotates wheel 7, which then rotates wheel 6, which then rotates wheel 8.

Fascinating, isn’t it?