Smellephant Grass

Smellephant Grass is a fast-growing, tall, greeny-yellow grass that can be found on open plains, tundra and savannah. Also in suburbs. And on mountains, in valleys, near lakes and oceans. So pretty-much everywhere.

Smellephants love it because they can hide in it, it gives great shade, tickles their backs and tastes delicious.

The questions on everyone’s lips are, does smellephant grass actually smell, and if so, what does it smell of? The answers are yes, and we’re not going to tell you. Find some yourself and give it a sniff.

But we can tell you one thing. Smellephant grass makes an unbelievably annoying sound. If you get one frond, and swish it fast above your head, the sound it makes in incredibly annoying. Try it and you’ll see.

Smellephant grass has multiple uses, including:

[1] Good for making thatched roofing
[2] Great for basket-making (weaving)
[3] Compulsory as a weapon during the Smellephant-Grass-Fighting-Festival

What is the Smellephant-Grass-Fighting-Festival you might ask?

Well, it’s a festival in which people use smellephant grass to fight each other. Each combatant gets one frond of grass. They then have to walk across a narrow bridge above a pool full of swed saliva, and fight each other by swishing their fronds. They don’t actually hit each other, they just annoy each other. The sound gets so annoying that combatants actually start jumping into the pool to avoid it. The last person on the bridge wins. The prize-money is $175,000.

< Back to Almanac