Schools, Organizations & Entities

Swedhump Elementary

Dash’s school.
Principal: Mrs. Rosebank
Probably the best school in the world.
Definitely has the best teachers in the world.
Named after the hump of a swed, a two-faced humped creature.

Swedhump Elementary is a K through 7 1/2 school. It’s part of the new Puff-Noss system, in which middle school is replaced by the CAP (Compulsory Adventure Period), which is as follows:

Elementary school: K-7 ½ (age 5 -11)
CAP: 7 ½ – 8 (age 12-13)
High School: 9 -12 (14-18)

During the CAP, students spend 18 months going on adventures, doing things they love, having fun, being healthy and spending as much time outdoors as possible.

Teaching positions at Swedhump Elementary are highly sought-after. One usually needs to be extremely good at one’s discipline before applying for a position. Being world champion in your field usually helps with the application process, but not always.

Most classes at the school have their own dedicated room or building.

New courses are continually being added to the curriculum, hence new buildings and classrooms are continually being added. To avoid disturbance, the new structures are actually built off campus (by Zoo Lake Engineering), and once complete, lowered in to place by triplo-triplocopters.

The school boasts the full portfolio of outdoor facilities, including:

Swimming pools
Playing fields
Zip-lining emporium
3 lakes
A river
A vegetable garden
An orange grove
Several large mazes

In the exact center of the school campus is a hammaphore tree. Next to that is the Principal Zofis, the office of Mrs. Rosebank. The western side of the campus opens onto the Moremi Forest.

Stumpnose Elementary

Principal: Professor Inspector Josiah Stumpnose
Rival school to Swedhump Elementary.
Smells of sardines in some areas.
Most kids who attend this school are known to be:
[1] awful or
[2] rude or
[3] mean or
[4] or have terrible table manners
[5] or all of the above

Stumpnose Elementary is housed within the Stumpnose Family Sardine Processing Planet, which is near the site of the former urban sewerage works, which was decommissioned after a radioactive incident. The smell of the sewerage has never quite gone away.

The sardine Processing Plant and hence the school campus are downwind of and within earshot of the local aluminium smelter, which can get quite noisy at times since the 400 RX44 machines (those used to cut and smelt aluminium) are fairly loud. But luckily the school property is ringed by a 40 foot reinforced concrete wall, so not all the sound gets through. The smoke from the machines does come over the top, but it’s not a problem since most classrooms at Stumpnose Elementary are in the building’s basement labyrinth.

The water and slime seeping into the basement labyrinth classrooms is not a problem since each room has an excellent water and slime extrication pump system.

So all-in-all it’s a great school.

Quadcycle Training Academy

World’s most famous quadcycle training school.
Their 3-week introductory courses are particularly good.
Mr. Ibis was instrumental in setting up their online courses.

Compulsory snodules

Sneggle-sprocket maintenance
Mind-activation techniques
Backpack release
Backpack stowage
Overall maintenance
Riding techniques
Riding posture

Optional snodules

Introduction to the to the lemon juice compression canister
Search & rescue techniques
Racing techniques
Combat techniques

Scallywag Academy

Scallywag Academy is the world’s most famous scallywag school.
To graduate, the candidate needs to master at least 27,004 moves. Advanced candidates have been known to master over 30,000 moves.
The location of the Academy is unknown. Because Dash is constantly being pestered by scallywags, and they always seem to land up on the dark side, he is determined to find where the school is, and have a good, long chat to its principal.

Some people believe it is hidden somewhere in The Foothills. Apparently underground. Others say it is deep within Moremi Foresthttps://total-mayhem.com/almanac/places/moremi-forest/, probably in the south-west where the terrain is less amenable to exploration. Others say it is right under our noses, literally in a bunker under Swedhump Elementary. It certainly hasn’t come up on any 3D Macro-maps.

Very little is known about the Scallywag Academy. Here’s a list of what we don’t know:

What the principal’s favourite color is
What are the most popular courses
What security they have in place
Where it is (as explained above)
How much is a one year course
How many candidates attend
How long certification takes
What defences they have
What their canteen is like
Is there a wall around it
Who the principal is

Some speculate that the Scallywag Academy has it’s own on-campus technical research and development laboratory. Some claim that is actually called the Laboratory of Darkness and it’s run by a dreadful man called Mortimer Mortgagewood, who used to work for Mr. Rosebank. He was fired by Mrs. Rosebank after stealing jet-fuel from the school warehouse.

Triplocopter Flight Training Academy

If you want to fly a triplocopter, go to TFTA.
It’s the world’s best Triplocopter Flight Training Academy.
It’s also the world’s only Triplocopter Flight Training Academy.
Extremely competitive to get a place.
James Hogsbottom used to work there as a test pilot.
Lord Admiral of the Triplocopter Flight Training Academy is Dr. Osgood Winklevoss.

Embedded within the TFTA is the Emmarentia Academy of Aeronautical Engineering (EAAE) as well as the Boreholicopter Flight Training Academy (BFTA).
Chief Engineer of the EAAE is Professor Conley McConaUgghHH-h.

Zip-Lining Emporium

Huge zip-lining park at Swedhump Elementary.
Actually the world’s largest.
Designed by Ms. Greenacre.
Has over 2,700 different zip-lines.

The emporium, built by Zoo-Lake Engineering, took just a month to construct. 2,000 of the zip-line routes are permanent. 700 are changed very month to keep things interesting.

The most popular rides are:

[1] The Greenacre Gravity Bend
[2] Devil’s throat
[3] Forest Canopy Rush 666
[4] Forest Canopy Rush 1,813
[5] Mammoth’s Epiglottis

49 rides go through glass tunnels underwater.
193 rides go through tunnels underground.
2 rides are time-travel rides.
There are 17 “sleep” rides, i.e. you have to be asleep to go on them.
19 rides take over an hour, so are not permitted to be taken during the school day as students will miss class.
1 ride takes 2 full days so can only be done on weekends.

Darwin Cycles

Top secret quadcycle factory.
Rumored that Mr. Ibis used to work there.

It is very difficult to get any information on this facility, and most reporting on it gets censored.

Aqualinia Waterpark

Probably the world’s best waterslide park.
Ms. Aqualine is the founding chairwoman of the Aqualine Corporation, which established the waterpark in 2019. The Aqualine Corporation is also renowned for its pool floaties which are sold worldwide. The pinkfish, sweds and osteops are particularly popular.

The park charges a single 24-hour entrance fee which allows the user to go on any of the 872 rides and eat and drink as much as they want in any of the 32 cafeterias and restaurants. Every ticket holder gets automatically entered into an annual lottery, the winner of which gets free lifetime entrance to the park for themselves and 1,000 close friends and family, plus a lifetime supply of Aqualinia Corporation floaties for all of them.

Entrance is free for people born on a Wednesday between 3 and 4pm (which is when Andrea Aquiline was born). An original waterproof birth certificate needs to be produced when applying for this concession.

Currently the most popular rides in the park are:

Ride 16: The Undulating Vestibule of Perfection
Ride 33: The Glandulated Chute of Rectification
Ride 84: The Vibrating Magoon of Awesomeness-ness
Ride 111: The Imbroligiated Massala of Excoriation
Ride 274: The Discombobulating Palisade of Nothingness
Ride 481: The Obnibulating Elongation of Suggestivosity
Ride 683: The G’snickulated Paternoster of Woff-osity
Ride 872: The Ossifying Carbuncle of Wemm-sniffication

Sniffsonian Museum

World’s most famous and important museum of natural history, artefacts, trivia, miscellany and heemo-globule globules.
Owned and curated by Mr. Sniffy.

Some of the more popular exhibits include:

The dinosaur room
The volcano room
The rainforest room
The cloud room
The ancient Egypt room

The cafeteria consists of hundreds of aerial-seats serviced by multiple conveyor belts serving snacks, treats, drinks and regular meals. It is one of the world’s most famous cafeterias and use highly sophisticated conveyor-belt technology developed by Mr. Rosebank in conjunction with Rajak Industries.

More recently, the museum has also become famous for its extraordinary waterslides.

Savuti Technologies Inc.

High-tech company specializing in optical and imaging products (cameras, light-beams etc.).

Products:
Condensed Expandable Pocket Mirror
Cranio-cam
MRX-34-Laser
Converter-Glasses
Trapdoor-Detector

Staff:
CIO (Chief Inventions Officer): Dr. Wombattina Muizenberg

Location:
Adjacent to the Drakensburg Institute of Technology

Investments:
Majority stakeholder in Grovenhopper Industries Inc., manufacturers of the butterfly-cam-drone.

Mgadigadi Technologies

High-tech company that designs and manufacturers equipment and devices for transformation, trans-mogrification, trans-groffication and communications

Products:
Transformer
Defrost-Ping
Dublifier
KB-15
ELT-34 (ear-lobe transponder)
Micro Modulated Shrinkulator
Slow-motion-ifyer
Snintercom
SPIN radio
Transponder Tracking Device (TTD)
VAMP Transponder
Walkie-shoutie

Staff:
CIO: (Chief Inventions Officer): Dr Jezebel Terracotta-Glandsmitten
CSO (Chief Shrinkage Office): Dr. Maurice Canopy-Morrison
CTO (Chief Transformer Officer): Dr. Maudelin Hemscott-Scotterson

Location: Somewhere in the foothills of The Foothills

Rajak Industries

This is a high-tech company that makes WRS (Weird Random Stuff)

Products:
Annoyingometer™
Vacuum-Snozzles
Conveyor belts at The Sniffsonian Museum
Dialling mechanism for SPIN radios
Tie-D-Yupper
Twoaster
VVS-printer
Yo-Yo Stingers
Osteop stealth udder slings
Rodent parachutes
Lumo-Beams
Zip-tape
Trillipede-44

Joint CEOs: Hetty & Berbert Rajak

Location: Birdhaven

Pandamatenga Industries

Design & manufacture of land-based/subterranean and amphibious vehicles

Products
Aardvark 4.2D
Aardvark 66
Cut-throat 64
Perforator 800
P’tonk-45
Trenchifyer 98

Staff:
CGO (Chief Gasket Officer): Orink Haplinn
CIO (Chief Inventions Officer): Dr. Wombattina Muizenberg

Location: Bergenplott Bay

G. & J. Tarrow Siblings Inc.

High-tech company that specialises in the design and manufacture of Triplocopters.

The founders, Gabriel & Jamie Tarrow, also invented the Ratchet-raptors. But this they license to Raptor Industries.

Gabriel and Jamie Tarrow, inventors of the Triplocopter, began experimenting with flying copter-vehicles when they were in elementary school. By the time they were 7 and 9, using a glider prototype, they could fly from the second story of their house, across the road into the grounds of a neighboring duck-training academy. A year later they had added a small engine, built a small copter-pad on the roof of their house, and could fly over 1 mile. When their parents found out, they were extremely unhappy. They sold the house and moved to a single-storey bungalow, and banned the kids from going on the roof. But Gabriel and Jamie continued with their mission. They’d secretly go up on the roof. When their dad found out, he removed the roof.

When Gabriel and Jamie started experimenting from the trees in the yard, their mom chopped down the trees.

But Gabriel and Jamie Tarrow were undeterred. While their parents were at work, they dug a bunker under the house, and in it they continued their experiments in secret. By the time they were in high school they had perfected the design, and could fly over 50 miles in it. By the time they reached college, they had set up their business, G. & J. Tarrow Siblings Inc., and were manufacturing one triplocopter per month. By 2015, they were both multi-multi-millionaires and world famous.

Their parents were no longer annoyed with them.

Zoo Lake Engineering

Civil engineering firm that does a lot of work for Swedhump Elementary.

Recent projects:
Zip-Line Emporium
The Highly Annoying Building

Location: Parkview

University of Snodd (UoS) System

The University of Snodd is a system of public research universities routinely ranked among the world’s best. Now serving over 8,700 students, the system offers something for everyone. Multiple UoS campuses offer a wide range of undergraduate and graduate education.

Within the UoS system are the following:

[1] University of Inner-Scratchford
Head of Hammaphore Research: Professor Maria Yankel-Zog-Zoglio
Head of Snider Research Institute: Professor Trollop Codswollopp
Head of Advanced Advanced Chemistry: Dr. Cordelia Zeusaphone
Location: Inner-Scratchford

[2] University of Camford-Bogmarsh
Minerology: Dr. Florence Providence
Plumbing: Dr. Patrica Plumstead
Location: Camford-Bogmarsh

[3] Drakensberg Institute of Technology
Head of Ossicle Research: Professor Maria Pinsnoffian
Head of Transformer Research: Professor Jonovieve Bran-didd-tt
Location: Cathedral Peak

[4] Snoddford University
Specialises in waterslides, zip-lines & bungee-jumping
Location: West Snoddford

[5] Institute of Leopard-Crawling and other Stealth Ground Manoeuvres (ILCSGM)

Founded by Leonora & Wilford Schleswig-Wompelstein

Offers courses in:
LCWTAALITA (Leopard Crawling When There are Actual Leopards in the Area) manoeuvre
LCWTANALITA (Leopard Crawling When There are No Actual Leopards in the Area) manoeuvre
ALADTCTAD (Act Like a Duck to Confuse the Actual Ducks) manoeuvre
HUTCW (Hide under the Closest Wheelbarrow) manoeuvre.
UDOOMUSDC (Use and Deployment of Osteop Milk Udder Slings During Combat)