Devil Nose Island is the most secure prison on earth. The entire perimeter is ringed by 27 krypto-web fences, 11 of which are electrified. The water around it is freezing and full of shnarks (which are more vicious than sharks), flesh-eating, saw-toothed doublodiles and killer electric rays. No prisoner has ever escaped from it.
Famous inmates include:
Name: Jerrold McMillan the Midnight Train-Thief
Prison number: DNI66912
Crime: Train robbery
Name: Teresa Nagg-ohorowitz
Prison number: DNI54871
Crime: Incessant nagging of her children
Sentence: 5 years
Name: Aloysius McDermottsonnsdottir
Prison number: DNI67329
Crime: General annoyingness
Sentence: 1 year
Name: Clementine Constantinius
Prison number: DNI44093
Crime: Saw-toothed Doublodile trafficking
Sentence: 10 years
This vast and extraordinary forest is largely unexplored. It is a place of great beauty and deep mystery. Many explorers have ventured into it and returned with new knowledge, discovery of new species and of things no-one knew existed. But also remember that many explorers have ventured into it and not returned.
It is said to extend over 3,000 miles to the west, 1000 to the north, and 2,000 to the south. So that’s roughly 3,000 x 3,000 miles, i.e. 9 million square miles. A vast area.
The forest is believed to contain at least 33% of the planet’s animal species and 50% of the planet’s plant species.
The forest has never been comprehensively mapped, and is known to contain 34 major rivers and 7 major mountain ranges.
Stunningly beautiful island plonk in the middle of the Atticus Ocean, where Swedhump Elementary classes go for Marine Biology Week.
Fringed by a coral reef. Warm water.
Probably the world’s most beautiful sunrises and sunsets.
Only inhabitants are those in the 6-star hotel.
Or so we believe.
The hotel on the island was built in 1999 and has some fantastic features including:
* Personal submarine docks accessible from every room
* Hot-tubs in every room
* An indoor tidal pool and wave machine
* Cotton-candy machines in every room
* A large underground wobble ball track
Free outdoor activities for all guests include diving, snorkelling, sailing, grains-of-sand counting, sunbathing, moonbathing, rain bathing, palm tree shaking and coconut-balancing (a tradition began by Mr. Steadyneck in 2015).
The walls of this building are 3 feet thick and made of solid pickled cucumber sponge. Accordingly, it can withstand major explosive impact, intense pressure trauma and high magnitude vibrations. If there was going to be an earthquake, inside this building is where you’d want to be. The only downside is after more than 15 minutes inside it, you will smell of pickled cucumber for a while. The smell is actually not possible to wash off. It only comes off with time. Usually 8-10 days.
The building was designed by Sergio Swanepoel, renowned architect. He also designed the science building which is banana-shaped. Don’t ask why, because we have no idea. And once when asked why in an interview, Sergio Swanepoel said he too had no idea. So really, nobody knows.
No pickled cucumbers were killed in the making of the building. The cucumber sponge used in its construction was grown in thermo-culture astro-trough. The process results in the growth of large, vibration-absorbing, porous sheets of cucumber sponge. The sheets come out the same size as the troughs, i.e. 1 foot x 7 feet x 17 feet, roughly the size of a car if it was squashed flat to 1 foot high.
Eating the walls of the building is strictly forbidden. Collum Ollum once got sent home with a warning for trying.