Miscellany/Random Stuff

Heemo-globule Globules

These are small, very rare, highly-precious globules containing heemo-globules, which are mined all over the world.
The Sniffsonian has a fine collection of them.

Everybody wants heemo-globule globules, but nobody really knows why.
Heemo-globules themselves are not precious, it’s the heemo-globule globules that are.

In 2017, the now-famous minerologist Dr. Florence Providence (PhD. University of Camford-Bogmarsh) came upon a beautiful heemo-globule globule whilst walking some of her ants. When she got back to her laboratory, she examined it more closely and delightfully realised it was not a heemo-globule globule, but a heemo-globule globule globule. So the first ever discovered globule containing a heemo-globule globule! She instantly became world famous (obvio!) and was even on the cover of Teemay Mugh-Harzinnay (a VERY famous magazine).

Since then, only two other documented heemo-globule globule globule discoveries have been documented. Just look in the documents and you’ll see what we mean. Which documents? THE documents.


Written by Zephaniah Rrr-Tökk-Tökk, this fine tome covers everything there is to know about the Pause game. Large sections on rules, history, national variants, famous competitions, legendary winners and notorious cheats.

The first edition was published in 1995. New editions are published annually. There were only 100 copies of the first edition, which these days are highly sought-after and therefore VERY expensive. At a recent auction in Stefannesburg, one of them sold for 33 million dollars.


The part projecting above the mouth on the face of a person or animal. Usually.
Most noses contain the nostrils and are used for breathing and smelling.

Some noses are known to exist completely on their own, i.e. not attached to the face of a person or animal. They are known as self-standing noses. Very few have been spotted. Occasionally, very occasionally, a self-standing nose might enter an urban area and start sniffing around.

This is what we know about self-standing noses:

Where they come from? No idea
Why they come into urban areas? No idea
How do they stay alive? By breathing
What do they eat? No idea
How do they eat? No idea
Can they communicate? No idea
Are they annoying? VERY!


Ossicles are small osculated sniccles containing micro heemo-globule globules. They are used as conductors in advanced electronic devices. They are extremely difficult to work with as they can be quite sticky. Only very advanced engineers and inventors use them.
Mrs. Tadros (the science teacher at Swedhump Elementary) has a fine collection of them.

It is not really known exactly how the sniccles become osculated, or even why they become osculated.

Professor Maria Pinsnoffian, Head of Ossicle Research at the Drakensberg Institute of Technology has been researching ossicles for two decades (20 years) and concludes that to date the osculation of sniccles remains an enigma. Her seminal research paper, The Enigma of Osculated Sniccles was a bestseller, and is a great read. Check your closest book store.


Snodules are components of a technical class or lesson. A typical lesson might have 4 or 5 snodules, that are inter-related, but also independent.

Snodules can be divided into sub-snodules, semi-snodules and snodulated-snodules.

Snodulated-snodules can be divided into sub-snodulated-snodules, semi-snodulated-snodules and snodulted-snodulated-snodules.

Snodulated-snodulated-snodules can be divided into sub-snodulated-snodulated-snodules, semi-snodulated-snodulated-snodules and snodulted-snodulated-snodulated-snodules.

Swedhump Elementary has a rule that the snodules for every lesson need to be logged in the LSRI (Library Snodule Registration Interface). This can be done by filling in form 60, and then inserting it into the SRFIT (Snodule Registration Form Insertion Trough) which is on the wall next to the entrance to the library. Ms. Grimstead gathers up all the forms every morning and enters them into the system. This means all lesson snodules are archived, and the data is then sent to homputer 44574E.


Homputers are computers that can walk and have human-type limb functioning.
They were invented by Mike Homputer in 1994.
Each has a serial number which denotes its speciality.

44573X – cooking
44573Y – wobble-ball
44573Z – face-pulling
44574A – mailbox-licking
44574B – postbox-polishing
44574C – whistling
44574D – BBQing
44574E – snodule archiving

Generally homputers are well-behaved. But there have been isolated incidents of misbehaviour.
Some of the more notable incidents are:

The Yodeling Ruckus of 1998: A beta version of the 44574C (whistling) escaped from its owner’s apartment and installed itself on the roof on the building, locking the access door as it passed through. It then proceeded to yodel so loudly that it could be heard from up to 13 miles away. It kept that entire neighbourhood awake until 3am, when a police triplocopter finally captured it using a krypto-web net, and took it back to the factory.

The Mailbox Bashing Incident of 2001: During an extended nocturnal rampage, three 44574A homputers (mailbox-licking) broke out of their factory and smashed over 1,000 suburban mailboxes over the course of a week.

The BBQ Brouhaha of 2007: During the 2007 Royal BBQ, the main 44574D (BBQing) on duty suddenly went on the rampage, and started throwing pterodactyl pies at the royal family. As you know, pterodactyl pies are not dangerous projectiles, but in the ensuing pandemonium, the BBQ caught fire and the fire department needed to be called. When the fire-fighters arrived, the rampaging homputer then turned his/her/its rage towards the fire-hover-truck, brought out a new supply of pterodactyl pies, and started pelting it. The fire chief, Jethro Jeffferson was in the hover-vehicle at the time. He was not happy, so responded with the water cannon. But his aim was off (despite being the fire chief), and he hit the Royal Family. The force of the water was so strong that the Royal Viewing Platform fell into the lake and floated off. The entire Royal family had to be rescued by triplocopter and it was very embarrassing for everyone. Plus the food on the BBQ all got burnt. The 4457D that started the chaos was decommissioned and is in storage at Mike Homputer’s homputer facility.

The main components of a typical homputer are:

A fatherboard (in regular computers this is known as a motherboard)
A Central Processing Zwort (CPZ)
A Graphics Processing Zwort (GPZ), also known as a video card
Reticulated Access Memphistophle (RAM), also known as volatile memory
Solid State Droppen-groppen (SSD)
Hard Disk Droppen-groppen (HDD)

Rule 27b

“The reader shall not be allowed to continue reading the book unless all words appearing on the page (on which Rule 27b occurs) are read out aloud.”

Rule 27b comes after Rules 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 7a, 7b, 7c, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 12a, 12b, 12c, 12d, 12e, 12f, (there is no Rule 13), 14, 15, 16, 16a, 17, 17a, 17b, 17c, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 22a, 22b, 22c, 22d, 22e, 22f, 22g, 22h, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27 and 27a.

It comes before Rules 27c, 27d, 27e, 27f, 28, 28, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 36a, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 45, 47, (Rules 48 and 49 were cancelled, but we are not able to tell you why, and stop being so nosey), 50, 51, 52, 53a, 53b, 53c, 54, 55, 56, 57, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67, 68, 69, 70, 71, 72, 72a, 72b, 72c, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 88a, 88b, 88c, 88d, 88e, 89, 90, 91, 92, 93, 93a, 94, 94a, 95, 95a, 96, 97, 98 99, and, or course Rule 100.

Ice Cream Machine (ICM)

Built by Mr. Rosebank over the last 50 years.
He made the prototype when he was in elementary school, winning the school science competition.
In middle-school he’d upgraded it, and by the time he was junior, it was a fully-functioning device making over 100 ice cream a day.
Highly sophisticated device, believed to contain more ossicles per cubic foot than any other known electronic device.