Kids

Dash Candoo


Hates it when his breakfast (the most important meal of the day) gets disturbed.
Scared of nothing, except being late for class.
Best friends are Rob Newman and Greta Gretchen-Hoffer.

Rob Newman


One of Dash’s best friends.
Often pretends to be annoyed when really he isn’t.
Has a weird dent on his index finger.
Extremely good at making fires.
Loves sailing.
Reliable.
Loyal.

Gronville Honkersmith

Most annoying boy in the school.
Usually has his water bottle with him.
It is believed that he might actually be soft and sweet on the inside.

Gronville, Gronville, Gronville . . . what a complicated character.

If someone’s going to do something annoying, it’s sure to be Gronville. If someone’s going to bend the rules slightly too much towards the dark side, it’ll be Gronville. And he’s often a bit weird and a bit grumpy.

Gronville is quite competitive, and sportsmanship/gentlemanly behaviour are not his strong points. If he needs to illegally bump someone off a wobble-ball to win a race, he’ll do it.

But when push comes to shove, he seems to come through on the right side. Somewhere, deep down inside the relentless Honkersmithness, is a decent Gronville.

Greta Gretchen-Hoffer

Extremely talented.
Champion face-puller.
Very clever.
Close friends with Dash.
Loves anything to do with ancient Egypt.

Gretchen is a great all-rounder. She’s pretty-much competent at everything she does. She loves studying and learning and her knowledge of the Almanac is unparalleled. Her dream in life is to one day become head of Calder-Kuncklebaum, the company that publishes the Almanac.

Jeanjean-Jeanjean-Jeanjean Johnson

Twin sister of Jonjon-Jonjon-Jonjon Johnson. They’re always fighting.
Cries easily. And when she cries, you’d better RUN, or find a boat, kayak or pool floaty, because boy does she cry!

Jeanjean-Jeanjean-Jeanjean was initially going to be named Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer- Jenniferjennifer by her parents, but at the last moment they decided against it as Jeanjean-Jeanjean-Jeanjean’s mom’s name is actually Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer, and they didn’t want to cause any confusion.

They then decided they wanted to name her after her grandmother, i.e. Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer’s mom, Johannajohanna-Johannajohanna-Johannajohanna. If they’d done that, she would have been Johannajohanna-Johannajohanna-Johannajohanna junior, or Johannajohanna-Johannajohanna-Johannajohanna the 2nd. Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer-Jenniferjennifer’s dad, Johanesjohannes-Johanesjohannes-Johanesjohannes objected. He didn’t want his wife and his granddaughter to have the same name.

So they called her Jeanjean-Jeanjean-Jeanjean.

Jonjon-Jonjon-Jonjon Johnson

Twin brother of Jeanjean-Jeanjean-Jeanjean Johnson.
They’re always fighting.
Very scared of Gronville Honkersmith.

Jonjon-Jonjon-Jonjon was initially going to be named after his maternal grandfather, Johanesjohannes-Johanesjohannes-Johanesjohannes. But when Johanesjohannes-Johanesjohannes-Johanesjohannes found out, he was furious. He was adamant that he wanted to remain the only Johanesjohannes-Johanesjohannes-Johanesjohannes in the area.

So instead they decided to call him Juddjudd-Juddjudd-Juddjudd. But when his maternal grandmother (Johannajohanna-Johannajohanna-Johannajohanna) said it sounded like a frog that had swallowed a toy train, they decided instead to call him Jeffersonjefferson-Jeffersonjefferson-Jeffersonjefferson. But when their cousin Jeffreyjeffrey-Jeffreyjeffrey-Jeffreyjeffrey found out, he was livid. He wanted to be the only Jeff in the family.

So to avoid a rift in the family, they opted for Jonjon-Jonjon-Jonjon. Everyone was happy.

The story behind Jeanjean-Jeanjean-Jeanjean‘s name is even more interesting.

Shereena Aska-Lonka

Very quiet.
Brilliant Face-Puller.
Mysterious & enigmatic.

Shereena is not a loud person. In fact, sometimes it’s almost as if she is not there. She also doesn’t reveal much about herself. Her slight air of mystery actually makes her more interesting.

Shereena is quiet because her parents are loud. VERY LOUD! They are both extremely famous opera singers. Her mother, Bianca Aska-Lonka-Lonka sang at the Royal Court of King Edmond the Gurkk. Her father, Lucio Aska-Lonka-Lonka, sang at the court of Queen Jezebel of South-Northern Swottolia. They are close friends of Mr. Plumtree, and he is actually Shereena’s godfather (although she hasn’t told anyone).

Shereena’s parents have two unfortunate habits:

[1] They are ALWAYS in their zebra-striped dressing gowns, even when they go out to the shops or for a walk in the park, [2] they sing sentences to each other, instead of talking normally.

This is quite hard for Shereena so she spends a lot of quiet time in her bedroom, reading or playing with John-Winston, her beloved pet gramster.

Collum Ollum

Collum embodies mischief. He’s a really naughty guy, and good friends with Dash. In fact, he’s good friends with everyone.

Collum carries a toothy grin around with him wherever he goes – even to the dentist.

His personal motto is: “There is always mischief to be made”. While he certainly indulges in this as a daily practice, Collum’s mischief is always “good” mischief, i.e. he never harms anyone or anything. It’s more like trickery. Sometimes his tricks do go wrong though.

His favourite trick is hiding people’s food. He’s perfected it to a fine art, and he’s not scared to do it to adults. For example, if Collum gets invited to dinner at a friend’s house for the first time, once siting at the table, with adults he’s just met, he’ll dramatically point to something across the room, and then when the dad turns to look, Collum will grab the dad’s plate of food, and hide it on his lap beneath the table. The dad will then turn around and his food will be gone. It’s risky, but always funny. Once Collum did it to a newly-encountered but very grumpy dad. Collum thought it would cheer the grumpy dad up. Boy was he wrong. During the rapid hiding process, Collum dropped the plate onto the floor. The dad was not impressed, and Collum was banned from their house. But that’s the risk he’s willing to take. “Mischief-making is for the brave.” That’s his backup personal motto (for when things go wrong).

Collum once found an injured baby swed on the outskirts of the Moremi Forest. He brought her home, named her Humpetta, and raised her as a pet. She lived happily with the Ollums for several years. But one night she simply chewed through the fence and left. Collum followed her footprints to the entrance of Moremi Forest and that was it. He knew he’d never find her again. She’d rejoined her herd deep within the forest.