Equipment

KB-15

Imminent Danger Warning Device (IDWD)

Flashes red when danger is very close.

KB-15 flash codes:

* Red – on-off 1 second intervals continuous: Imminent Danger
* Red – on 2s, off 2s: Lightning storm imminent
* Green – on 3s, off 1s: Pizzup delivery almost here
* Blue – on 5s, off 5s: Battery needs charging

KB-15s were invented by Mr. Rosebank but he licensed the design and manufacture to Mgadigadi Technologies. There is just one model of the device, so there is just one buying option. The software and radar technology are updated every year by automatic satellite download. This means that at any one time all KB-15s are identical.

The range is 25 yards and the sensor beams penetrate anything, including concrete, kryptocrete, interglandular coagulated carbon, rock and metal.

The device can be wrist-mounted (like a watch), head-mounted (which looks ridiculous, so nobody ever does it) or can just sit on a flat surface.

The KB-15 takes 12 CCC batteries, and it is critically important to keep these charged at all times, especially if you are in an ACZ (Actual Combat Zone) or ICTS (Imminent Combat Type Situation). The Global KB-15 Inspection Authority (GKBIA) undertakes random inspections and if your batteries fail the test, you will get fined. I repeat, you will get fined.

Transformer

A transformer is a HIGHLY technical device.
There are over 100 different types, and new models come out each year.
Dash currently uses a Chobey-2020 (this year’s model).

If you have FULL security clearance (Level 15c) we will be able to tell you more about them if you email us.

Dash’s transformer uses a RM66 high-voltage battery, which needs to be charged once a week. No more and no less. If charged more often than that, the transformer becomes too powerful, so for example, if overcharged, when trying to transform a cereal bowl into a watermelon, it could actually transform it into a hippopotamus, which would be funny, but probably not good. If charged less often than weekly, the transformer becomes too weak, so for example, if you were intending to transform a bicycle into a car, it might transform it into a wheelbarrow instead.

Transformers are the jewel-in-the-crown of Mgadigadi Technologies.

The Chief Inventions Officer of the company, Dr Jezebel Terracotta-Glandsmitten, has spent years of her career working on them. Her PhD. thesis was entitled “The Use of Multivariate Smollen Coagulant in Transformer Nano Technology”. It was appraised by the university’s Head of Transformer Research, Professor Jonovieve Bran-didd-tt. She received a first class appraisal, with Summa-Cum-Magna-Cum-Loud-Lauda-Loudest honorification.

Once Mgadigadi Thecnologies had perfected transformer production, Dr Jezebel Terracotta-Glandsmitten created the role of CTO (Chief Transformer Officer), and appointed Dr. Maudelin Hemscott-Scotterson to the position.

Backpack Ladder Deployment

The Backpack Ladder (BPL) is an important piece of equipment used by Dash and Rob on multiple missions. While very useful, it can also cause injury if incorrectly deployed. Accordingly, it is very important to have clean airspace over you when deploying. No low-lying trees or low ceilings, and obviously don’t deploy inside an aeroplane, train, hovercraft or hot-air balloon. The same goes for reverse deployment. Make sure there are no obstacles above you. When carrying one of these, make sure the top of your backpack is correctly fastened.

In 2016, three employees at the BPL factory were injured during the testing process. The main backpack cover was not correctly fastened and the ladder expanded inside the backpack which then exploded. In 2019 a BPL auto-deployed in a factory staff member’s car, causing him to drive off the road and into a shallow duckpond. Three ducks were injured and the factory had to pay a $25,000 fine. All three ducks recovered.

MRX-34-Laser

Small, concealable, very powerful laser. Ideal for cutting through things. Probably the only tool able to cut through krypto-web. Can also be used for communication.

Another fantastic device developed by Savuti Technologies Inc.
This laser can cut through anything. Except Krypto-web.

The Chief Inventions Officer at Savuti Technologies (Dr. Muizenberg) decreed that a Hemlock-878 be embedded in every laser the company ever produces. This renders them harmless to living beings, so they cannot be used as weapons. Removal of the Hemlock-878 renders the laser inoperable, so even if the devices get into bad hands, they cannot be used to harm anyone.

The laser works perfectly in deep space and under water. During Marine Snofftology Week there is an optional snodule in Underwater Laser Communication. Highly recommended.

Condensed Expandable Pocket Mirror (CEPM)

Small, concealable mirror that expands on deployment. Can be used to repel enemy beams (like mind-reading beams, or melt-beams). Can also be used for
communication, for starting fires, and as an actual mirror.

CEPMs are manufactured by Savuti Technologies Inc., widely known for their optical and imaging products.

Their products include mirrors, cameras, camera lenses, binoculars, trinoculars, microscopes, macroscopes, ophthalmic lenses, nostril lenses, measurement instruments, telescopes, and the snitt-wort-vessicles used in the photo-ostroghothic steps of semiconductor fabrication.

Savuti Technologies has a massive research laboratory, and spends large amounts of money on safety testing. This is necessary because releasing faulty expandable mirrors onto the marketplace would be extremely irresponsible.

The CEO of Savuti Technologies, Tiu de Haan, once had a CEPM accidentally expand in her handbag during a live TV interview. The contents of her handbag exploded onto the stage and it was pretty embarrassing. Since then, all CEPMs come in a sheath made of Krypto-fibres. Pretty much a regular sheath that’s covered in concrete-tape.

Savuti Technologies also makes things that let you see through walls. They are called windows.

Anti-Invisibility Goggles

Anti-Invisibility Goggles (AIGs) are an extremely useful tool. Dash and Rob usually have them in their backpacks.
They are most effective for recently-invisibilised things. So for example, if a Wrestle-Scallywag went into invisibility-mode a few minutes ago, the AIG would pick him up. But if the Wrestle-Scallywag went into invisibility-mode a few weeks ago, the AIG probably would not.


Dash & Rob both have AIG-878s, which work at night, and under water.

Some AIG’s come with inbuilt VAMPs.

The first set of Anti-Invisibility Goggles were actually invented by Mr. Rosebank when he was in his early thirties. At the time, he thought he was hearing voices but suspected it might actually be something different, since he didn’t really feel like he was going crazy.

Once he’d developed the goggles, and put them on, he saw that he was almost continuously being followed by small flying airborne mouth-holes (a common type of flying mouth, usually found only deep with the Moremi Forest). The particular type of airborne mouth-hole that followed him, was the kind that just never shuts up. He purchased a special repellent spray made from the liquidated toe-jam of a swedhump, that smelt so bad it soon got rid of the mouth-holes, but for a while also got rid of all his friends.

A few months later he decided to develop the goggles for commercial purposes, and now they are fairly widely available, to those in the know.

It’s important to note that Anti-Invisibility Goggles are NOT able to see people who have been made invisible by invizizz attack, so he is not able to see his wife, Mrs. Rosebank.

Warp-Vortex

A Warp-Vortex allows the warpee (owner) plus sub-warpee (passenger) to move from one place to another in a trilli-second. Warp-Vortexes are typically backpack-mounted. Pocket versions do exist but are quite expensive. Each Warp-Vortex has its own password, which the users will not share under any circumstances (so don’t even ask).

When doing a round-trip, the warpee uses the Input Nozzle to get there, and the Output Nozzle to return. Full Combat Extrication entails deploying the Warp-Vortex during actual combat.

The Warp-Vortex is actually a highly classified (top-secret) piece of equipment. Therefore we are not able to tell you who manufactures them. We are also not able to tell you how Dash and Rob got to have them. We might be able to tell you one day, and we promise we will when we can, but we can’t right now.

Other things we can’t tell you:

How Warp-Vortex technology works.
How Warp-Vortex maintenance works.
How Warp-Vortex repair works.
How many Warp-Vortexes there are in circulation, and who has them.

There have been several accidents as well as hilarious incidents involving Warp-Vortexes, but unfortunately the files are also classified, so we can’t even tell you about these.

SPIN Radio

A SPIN Radio (Secure Police Interface Neo-mogrifier) lets the user communicate directly with International Police Headquarters. Very few exist and only-highly trained experts are allowed to use them. It folds up to the size of a small pea. Rob Newman usually has one with him.

SPIN radios are manufactured by Mgadigadi Technologies, but their dialling mechanism is outsourced to Rajak Industries for reasons that we can’t go in to right now.

When activated, the SPIN radio’s neo-mogrifier automatically picks up the frequency of the closest International Police HQ transponder, which then activates a nossle-activator within the network palisade, which in turn activates the corpuscle-twerp in the interface itself. This, as you well know, is what facilitates the multi-co-linearity of the system itself.

Rob Newman is known for having achieved the highest score ever on the SAT (SPIN Assessment Test), and has the trophy atop his ant farm in his bedroom.

Secure Command Center (SCC)

The SCC is the technology headquarters for Dash and Rob. It’s where their communications, surveillance and airborne/waterborne reconnaissance hardware is stored and operated.
It is accessible by tunnel only.

The approach and exit tunnels were dug by Dash, Rob and Greta. The main communication cables are dual-reticulated poly-carbon-fibre with an interfactual luminosity overlay. The main chamber is radar-proof and hence not detectable by a 3D Marco-map or similar device.

The SSC has a backup stand-alone power and data source which is a converted homputer XB77765-555, an EXTREMELY powerful device, installed with help from Mr. Rosebank. Embedded in a secure-concealed side-wall is a substantial food, drink and snack supply, as well as a 6 bedded shelter shelter. The shelter shelter has an escape hatch, large library, games room, entertainment center, sushi-bar, bouncy castle, hole-digger pen, phosphorescent swimming pool and a modest zip-lining emporium. If bad stuff happened above the surface, Dash and friends could comfortably live down there for a year.

Secure Command Center Radio Frequencies

Channel 01: Dash & Rob private channel
Channel 11: Police Triplocopter Response Unit
Channel 22: Underground Assistance
Channel 33: Backpack Ladder Deployment Emergencies
Channel 44: Submarine Assistance
Channel 50: Hovercraft Unit
Channel 55: Scallywag Academy Help Line
Channel 66: Pizzoo Delivery
Channel 67: Coastguard
Channel 77: Quadcycle Repair Unit
Channel 88: Airborne Assistance
Channel 99: Strictly Confidential

Drones

Dash uses a wide range of drones for communications and surveillance. Most are equipped with infra-red, infra-green and infra-blue technology.

Other examples of drones used by Dash and friends include:

Butterfly-cam drones: Perfect for stealth surveillance.

Homework Retrieval drones: Ideal for going back to your house if you’ve left your homework behind.

Osteop Milking drones: If it’s raining or cold or you just couldn’t be bothered to go and milk your osteop, this very versatile drone can do it for you.

Shopping drones: A fantastic invention. Scan your shopping list into in and off it’ll go. Returns within 30 minutes with everything (provided you’ve instructed it correctly).

Sweeping/Rake drones: Low-hovering, these drones create precision wind-storms that can sweep a driveway or clear a surface of leaves in seconds. Great for yard work housekeeping.

Air-Freshener drones: Load your own fragrances into these clever gadgets, and they can make an entire classroom or home smell better in minutes.

Micro Modulated Shrinkulator (MMS)

Highly sophisticated device that shrinks things.
Only to be used if you have a Clearance Certificate which requires 3 months of training.
Once you shrink something with this, it cannot be undone.
I repeat, it CANNOT be undone.

The MMS was developed by Mgadigadi Technologies. Early versions used to enlarge things instead of shrink them. This resulted in the company having to build a bigger laboratory to accommodate the recently-enlarged equipment. This meant that, once the technology was corrected so that the device actually shrunk things, they had a huge working-space which gave them the freedom to expand their experimentation and operating capacity. This meant they could do a lot more development and testing and progress was rapid.

They suffered a major setback when their CSO (Chief Shrinkage Office) Dr. Maurice Canopy-Morrison accidentally shrunk the whole facility. It took a year to build a new laboratory and build new equipment.

Dr. Canopy-Morrison was fired (obvio) and went to live in the Foothills, where he started a S&nB (Sofa and no-Breakfast). It’s a bit like a B&B (Bed & Breakfast) except that guests have to sleep on the sofa and don’t get any breakfast. The breakfast they don’t get is actually really good, as Dr. Canopy-Morrison is a fantastic cook. Really. Ask his wife. Or his kids. But don’t ask his former colleague Sheila. She hated his cooking.

MMS training (and hence the Clearance Certificate) can be obtained from the Training Department of Mgadigadi Technologies. Submission documents can be downloaded from their website.

Invisibility Shield

Makes everything inside it go invisible.

Mr. Rosebank has done significant experimentation with invisibility shields, and can be considered a leading expert. According to him, there are many different kinds, with different strengths, dimensions and longevity. They are used by the forces of good and the forces of evil.

The shield is usually put in place by aerosol format, i.e. by an invisibility spray.
Larger shields are usually installed by the curtain technique, but it’s classified, so we can’t tell you anything about it.

One can see through an invisibility shield by using anti-invisibility-goggles.

Largest recorded: In 2004 one was placed over an entire town that was trying to avoid paying taxes. The government tax triplocopter arrived to collect the taxes, but there was no town to be seen, so they flew back to government headquarters. The town has not paid any tax since then.

Longest duration: In 2014 a boy, Billy Frownpaddle, 14, was climbing a cherry tree at his school. He was too heavy for it and broke the main trunk. To avoid getting shouted at by the school principal (who loved shouting, and yelling), he quickly sprayed an invisibility shield over the tree, which lasted for 2 years. Nobody noticed that the tree had disappeared. When he removed the invisibility shield, the trunk had grown back.

Full-Vacuum-Snozzle (FVS)

Large vacuum hose with turbo-charged suction ossicle attached.
Can be purchased as a standalone unit (like a lawnmower or household vacuum cleaner) or as a vehiculated extra feature (e.g. the Aardvark 66 hole-digger comes with one).

Suction capacity standard model: 366 viento-watts

Suction capacity premium model: 588 viento-watts

The fabric on the FVS is made of high-performance, antistatic, thermo-reguated polypropylene containing multifunctional synthetic polyamides, in parallel with a triple layer of reflective insulation floff-wemples. This makes it very durable, yet flexible, yet malleable, yet ductile, yet insulated, yet porous, yet fairly soft, yet fairly hard, yet fairly annoying. But apart from that, it’s fantastic. A similar fabric is used in the Warp-Vortex.

Vacuum-Snozzles are manufactured by Rajak Industries. Under the joint stewardship of Lady Hetty & Sir Berbert Rajak, their Birdhaven facility has established itself as the world’s leading Vaccum-snozzle suppliers. They are also known for developing and now supplying rodent parachutes, i.e. parachutes for rodents, globally. If ever you see a rodent parachuting, there’s a 95% chance its kit is manufactured by the Rajaks. In fact, we’re prepared to bet you $100 that this is the case.

Tie-D-Yupper

Highly useful and effective device that tidies everything up. Range is 12 metres. Can only be used once per 24 hours. If used twice, the second time it actually doubles the mess.

The Tie-D-Yupper is developed and manufactured by Rajak industries. The joint-CEOs of the company, Betty & Herbert Rajak, actually developed the device in an attempt to solve their childrens’ seemingly incurable messiness issues. They soon learnt that while the device does provide a short-term solution, it doesn’t solve the underlying problem.

The Tie-D-Yupper can only be used once per 24 hours. If used twice, the second time it actually doubles the mess, and the then the third time it triples the mess. The fourth and fifth time nothing happens, but the sixth time it multiplies the mess by 20. So be very careful if you get given one. Very careful. Certainly don’t click away. The whole point of the zero-impact clicks 4 and 5 is to trick you into clicking it a 6th time.

There were teething problems with early versions of the device.

The first one tested did tidy things up, but arranged them in neat lines. Useful, but weird.

The second device tested also succeeded in tidying things up, but arranged them in piles. Sometimes very tall piles, which usually then fell over. Not so useful.

The third device tested exploded. Lucky no-one was hurt.

The fourth device tested also succeeded in tidying things up, but by stowing them all in the closest refrigerator. Not useful at all. Unless you need to tidy up a whole lot of food that needs to go in the fridge. Rajak industries did go on to market a device specifically for groceries.

The fifth device tested also succeeded in tidying things up, but by arranging them in color-matched zones. Weird and not so useful.

The sixth device tested, worked! Hetty and Berbert Rajak were so happy with it that they went out for dinner to celebrate. When they got home, they were unfazed by the huge mess their kids had made. The kids were so disappointed not to get a reaction out of their parents that they’ve been tidy ever since. The joy of mess-making simply evaporated in an instant.

3D Macro-map

Aardvark hole-diggers come equipped with 3-dimensional macro-maps. They allow the user to see exactly where they are when underground. Radar functionality allows them too see through the ground to other machines and other tunnels, with a range of 25 miles. Infra-red functionality allows it to assess soil type and density at a range of up to 5 miles. Infra-green functionality allows it to spot living/breathing creatures underground with a range of up to 1 mile.

The upgrade, the 4D Macro-map is scheduled to be released next year. So it will be able to generate underground maps in 4 dimensions, i.e.

[1] width
[2] breadth
[3] height
[4] smell

Because of the extremely sensitive nature of the technology used in it, unfortunately we are not able to give more information about it at this stage, but we can confirm the device will be able to smell, and what it smells will be fully integrated into the user experience, either visually on the screen, or via ossicles inserted into the user’s nostril.

Bear Dryer

A bear dryer is like a hair dryer but [a] it’s a huge one and [5] it’s used for drying bear hairs instead of human hairs.
If you have a wet bear, point the dryer towards it, turn the snozzle to setting 14, and activate. Either walk around the bear once every thirty seconds or ask it to do slow, full rotations over 30 seconds, and it will be completely dry after 4 rotations. Also very useful for melting ice.

The Bear Dryer was invented by Carol Rondebosch after the Great Dry-bear Jamboree of 2016. Ms. Rondebosch brought her bear (Eric) to the Jamboree and was expected to win. Just a reminder, a Dry-bear Jamboree is an annual competition to see who has the driest bear. Eric was so big that when he sat in the car, his head would poke out through the sunroof. It was quite a funny sight to see this little lady with a huge bear in the car.

Anyway, on the way to the Jamoboree, Eric needed the bathroom, so they stopped at a gas station. The man who worked at the gas station had never seen a real live bear before and started to scream. Eric then panicked and locked himself inside the gas station bathroom. The fire department needed to be called to extricate him, but the fire truck broke down on the way. A rescue service needed to be called to rescue the fire truck, but the rescue truck also broke down.

Luckily Carol Rondebosch had a roof-smasher in her car, and so used that to smash through the roof of the gas station bathroom to rescue Eric. At that point Eric was really not happy, and went into a huge sulk. He reluctantly got back into the car but refused to even look at Carol, and sent her quite clear signals that he was not prepared to participate in the Jamboree.

They then drove past a lake. Carol knew Eric loved swimming, and so did a deal with him: If she stopped to let him swim, he’d do the Jamboree. He agreed and had a lovely swim. Carol had a plan, she knew he’d be wet after the swim, and so while he was in the water, fiddled with the car heater so it would blow really, really, really, really hot.

After the swim, a wet Eric got back in the car. His head, sticking through the sunroof, soon dried. Inside the car meanwhile, the heat was on full blast, and Eric didn’t notice anything. By the time they got to the Jamboree stadium, Eric was totally dry, and of course, he won! Carol Rondebosch decided afterwards to build a dedicated bear-dryer for future Jamborees, just in case, and so that’s where they come from.

Any other questions?

Concrete-tape

Unbelievably strong (and expensive) tape made of composite Krypro-web fibres.
On strip is strong enough to support a teenage Osteop and one person the size of Dash.

Unbelievably strong (and expensive) tape made of composite Krypro-web fibers.

Concrete-tape comes in rolls of 50 yards and in three thicknesses of increasing strength.

Household-Industrial
One strip is strong enough to support a teenage osteop and someone the size of Dash.

Industrial-industrial
One strip is strong enough to support a seven teenage osteops.

Combat-industrial
One strip is strong enough to support 12 teenage osteops.

The tape was invented by Mr. Rosebank and is trademarked by Swedhump Elementary. This means that for every roll sold, and small royalty payment goes to the school, hence paying for many of the fantastic features at Swedhump, including the zip-line emporium, all eighteen of the school pools, maintenance of the boundary wall, and of the principal zofis.

The largest manufacturer of concrete-tape is Hansen & Johnson, which has a daily output of over 1,00 rolls. Hansen & Johnson also breeds and exports osteops, hence they have an ample supply for tape strength testing, which is why the strength is generally measured in osteops.

VVS-printer

A VVS-printer is a Very-Very-Small printer. Dash keeps one in his backpack at all times. When in off-mode, it is the size of a pea. When activated, it can enlarge to the size of a regular printer. A VVS-printer comes standard-issue with never-ending ink cartridges. A special kind of paper technology is used in the VVS. Very hard to describe how it works, but the main idea is it will never run out. It’s too complicated to explain in this Almanac, and you are not required to know it for testing purposes.

VVS-printers are manufactured by Rajak Industries.

One of the Rajak Industries scientists wanted to show his mother one of the early models, so took it with him on a flight. For reasons unknown it started printing mid-flight and he was unable to deactivate it. By the time the plane landed, the entire cabin was full to the roof with paper and the terrifying incident was even on TV. The scientist would have got into trouble if the police had known it was him, but he managed to slip away during the post-landing pandemonium.

But the next night, at his mom’s house, the same thing happened. While he and his mom were asleep the printer went off again, and by the time they awoke, tens of thousands of printouts were pouring out into the street. This time there was no slipping away from the authorities, and he was fined the mandatory penalty of $250 for “being in possession of an uncontrolled printer”.

Of course Rajak Industries paid the fine on his behalf, and resolved the problem by installing a Haddock-valve adjacent to the dual-fused filament duct, which now comes standard in all printers.

G-hook

Invented by Greta Gretchen-Hoffer, this is a throwable hook that will catch on almost anything if thrown correctly. Super-light and super-strong. Made of carbon-fibre mixed with Krypto-web fibre. Dash, Rob & Greta always have them in their backpacks.

G-hooks are designated Legitimate Stealth Equipment (LSE) by the International Stealth Equipment Designation Committee (ISEDC) and G-hook throwing tutorials are offered by the ILCSGM (Institute of Leopard-Crawling and other Stealth Ground Manoeuvres), established by Leonora & Wilford Schleswig-Wompelstein.

The World G-hook Throwing Championships were first held in 2017.

List of previous winners:
Year: Name (distance in yards), type of throw
2017: Wim Lagaay (33.1), right-handed ballistic-trajectory
2018: Josephine Ragni (35.7), left-handed side-swipe
2019: Rodnefferson Hoodwink (36.2), right-handed curve-throw
2020: James Mc.Baigrie (37.4), right-handed elbow-pivot + skollie wrist-flick

ELT34

An Ear-Lobe-Transponder-34 is an earlobe-mounted mind-activated communications transponder. It operates at a frequency of 34 Hector-Shnassils, and comes in maximum pods of 12. Typical use is in pairs or trios. Example of paired use: Person A and B each have one. If person A wants to communicate with person B, all he or she needs to do is think of person B and mumble a pre-arranged password. This will immediately allow them to communicate as if through walkie-talkies or a field radio.
All the ELT34 communication codes are listed in the ELT34 Manual.

The numeric suffix denotes reception distance, but needs to be multiplied by a factor of 10. So for example, the ELT34 works for up to a distance of 340 miles. ELTs are available for distances up to 5,000 miles. But obviously the ELT500 will be more expensive than the ELT50. The battery on all ELTs lasts a lifetime and there have been no reported instances of malfunction, ever. It’s a highly reliable device.

ELTs are produced by Mgadigadi Technologies.

Defrost-Ping

This is a high-frequency radio beam that can defrost things from a distance. For example it can defrost a frozen chicken from 3 miles away. The beams are not at all dangerous and can travel through soil, rock and concrete (except if the the concrete is reinforced with krypto-web fibres).

The Secure Command Center is equipped with a Defrost-Ping Emitter (developed and manufactured by Mgadigadi Technologies), and its beams can comfortably defrost anything on school premises.

Mr. Rosebank was once experimenting with transformers, but by mistake bumped his cup of tea onto the experiment control panel. This caused the transformer to mis-activate, and the resultant electro-magnetic feedback loop caused a Type-B data feedback vortex. As you well know, this is an extremely dangerous situation.

At the time, the transformer was pointing towards the Geography Building, which was transformed in an instant into a large block of ice, with 22 kids and teacher trapped inside.

Dash rushed to the SCC and sent out a Level-13 Emergency Defrost-ping. The block of ice instantly melted and Dash saved the day. Mr. Rosebank was very impressed.

Annoyingometer™

An Annoyingometer™ is a wrist-mounted annoyingness detector. Range can extend up to 500 yards. Recommended setting the range at 100 yards and under. If you set the distance too large, it will pick excessive annoyingness, which in itself would be annoying, and might cause the device to malfunction.

The Annoyingometer™ is manufactured by Siena Industries Corporation. Ms. M’Punn-Dinn-Gurry and Mr. Ghogghh were involved with field-testing the first model.

Similar devices include the Grumpometer™ and the Sulkometer™. The broad-spectrum Moodometer™, still in development and undergoing testing, is expected to be available in June next year.

The Annoyingness Measurement Scale (AMS) is calibrated globally and all devices are rebooted and set to the new calibration every year on January 1st. This means all devices work on the same measurement basis.

Calibration goes from 0 to 127.

0: Nothing annoying anywhere near you
1-25: Barely annoying
26-50: Sustainably annoying
51-75: Tolerable annoyingness
76-100: Starts getting uncomfortable
101-111: More uncomfortable – think about leaving the area
112-125: Very uncomfortable, leave the area immediately
126-127: Severely dangerous situation

MB44 (freezer door cutter)

A MB44 is a device specifically made for cutting through freezer doors. Its blades are made of tungsten and titanium (very strong metals) and encrusted with razor-diamonds (really sharp diamonds).

Expensive device, but very useful if you happen to be trapped inside a freezer.
If you are likely to be in a freezer-trap situation, we’d suggest investing in one.

The waist-mounted versions usually come with a free holster.

There are head-mounted versions (the device sits on the top of your head), but they look ridiculous.

There are also elbow-mounted versions, but they restrict arm bending, so you’ll need to walk around with a straight arm, which also looks ridiculous.

There are nose-mounted versions, which are quite good. It looks a little odd with one mounted on your face, but does allow easy-access.

VAMP Transponder

VAMP = Voice Amplification Modification and Projection

This highly sophisticated, tiny device has three functions:

[1] Modification: Allows the user to change his or her own voice into someone else’s.

[2] Amplification: Makes the user’s voice louder.

[3] Projection: Allows the user’s voice to travel greater distances and faster.

VAMP transponders can be embedded in other devices. Dash has one embedded in his Anti-Invisibility Goggles. It is manufactured by Mgadigadi Technologies.

Earring versions are available but they are expensive.

Converter-Glasses

Converter-Glasses make things look the way they should be. For instance, if you’ve got a black and white photo, but want to see it in full color, just put on your Converter-Glasses. If you wake up in the morning and look awful in the mirror, same thing: just put on your Converter-Glasses and you’ll look amazing!

Designed and manufactured by Savuti Technologies Inc.